Deadpool Movie (Spoilers)

Just to reiterate. SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT.

Anyways was the movie great?
Was Ryan Reynolds the perfect choice to play Wade Wilson and Deadpool?
Was it worth the near 7 year wait since the flop commonly known as X-Men Origins Wolverine?
Was it worthy of the R rating, or in the UK’s case 15 rating?

HELL FUCKING YES!!!!!!

On Friday 12th I ended up going to the cinema in my town with the IMAX screen with a couple of friends of mine who are life time Deadpool fans, and these were old friends who I had known before I started my current job nearly 10 years ago and haven’t seen in years myself.  We had a good catch up with a drink afterwards and we all said we would hang out again in the future soon, honestly that probably won’t be until Deadpool 2 comes out.

LIKES

Like alot of superhero movies (especially Spiderman) there are those long winded origin stories, thankfully Deadpool does it right by layering present day action with flashback scenes before Wade’s life before he becomes Deadpool.  For a 1 hour 40 minute runtime they did get alot in.

The action scenes were entertaining, fast, dismembering, acrobatic fun.  Clearly you could tell the CGI and stunt double Deadpools apart from Reynolds.  Maybe it was where I was sitting in the cinema or maybe that was the director’s intention but my eyes at times just visually couldn’t keep up with the fast paced stuff, maybe if I see it again on a non IMAX screen or on blu ray when it comes out it would be a different story.

Breaking the fourth wall, I would be a waste of a cum shot if I didn’t mention this in a review about Deadpool of all characters.  It certainly wasn’t done too little and you can’t say it was done too much because that is what Deadpool does.  I particularly liked when he first broke the fourth wall at the beginning before he jumped off the highway onto the van how he had to pleasure “Smolverine’s” balls for Fox to allow his movie to be made lol.  Even when he actually turns the camera away from the audience when I presume he breaks the agent Smith recruiter character fingers or worse was very funny.  He made the movie, there is no other actor alive I could picture to ever take over the mantle.  There are very few roles out there that people were born to play.  His humour was spot on, he made you feel joy when he cracked jokes and killed people.  But also he made you feel empathy for the character when he was going through he was being experimented on.  This tops my list of my favourite Ryan Reynolds movies with Definitely Maybe being 2nd and Van Wilder being 3rd.

Green Lantern, X-Men Origins Wolverine, X-Men franchise, Fox studios, Hugh Jackman and even Ryan Reynolds himself all got referenced and taken the piss out of at some point during the movie.  I think Warner Brothers got offended with the Green Lantern jokes and the Batman reference Deadpool made about his roommate Blind Al (old black blind cocaine addict elderly woman).  My reasoning is because Warner Brothers owns the Rotten Tomatoes movie review website and although Deadpool has been released to the general public with a certified 84% fresh rating, its not featured on their top box office currently out now movie page and you have to search for the movie on the site.  Petty just petty lol.

Ajax, I know Ed Skrein is British but I wished he toned down on the accent.  When he started experimenting on Wade, and you could see the pain Wade was going through before his mutant genes I just hated him and wanted him dead.  When at the end and he is lying there in the scrapyard dying with Deadpool pointing a gun at his head and Colossus started his speech about those moments in life where you must rise above it etc etc, not only did I know Deadpool would shoot Ajax but I’m sure when the camera kept panning in on Ajax’s face his expression gave me the impression that he wanted a bullet in the brain just to stop listening to the giant chrome cock gobbler lol.

Negasonic Teenage Warhead.  The back and fourth between her and Deadpool were funny with how he’s too old and how she looks like various shaven haired women like Sinead O’Connor and Riply in Aliens.  Vanessa played by the sexy Morena Baccarin.  I fancied her since she was in Firefly and I loved how we saw glimpse of her tits when she and Wade were going at it in the bedroom.  Yes I would love to stick it in your ass baby.  Fair play to her character for wanting to stay with Wade regardless of his skin. Speaking of tits Angel Dust played by Gina Carano, why did Colossus’s hand cover her nip slip while they were fighting?  I really fancy her now because of that.

Weasel played by T J Miller was pretty much what I expected him to be, weak, wise cracking and despite being an arms dealer and weapons expert in the comics did not give Deadpool one weapon.  I like the actor in Silicon Valley on HBO.  Don’t know why he is labeled as the comic relief character because Deadpool does that too.

Dupinder the taxi driver, I would love to see him in the sequel.  I just hope he doesn’t get arrested for possession of weapons and a possibly dead squashed love rival in the trunk.

DISLIKES

Not many but first I wished it lasted longer.

Secondly I didn’t like how they slightly changed the origin story.  In the comics Wade got his healing factor from a sample of Wolverine’s mutant genes, but in the movie they made a serum which is designed to reanimate the dormant mutant cells all human beings have apparently.

Well that took ages to write.  I want to note that my previous Deadpool post has received more views for the past 7 weeks than it did in the last 4 months of 2015.  I enjoyed the movie and I am wondering how many more times I will see it in the cinema.  Oh by the way when he said at the very end don’t leave your rubbish in the cinema, I accidentally did.  Sorry Deadpool please don’t kill me.

My Christmas Day 2015 (Contains Female Nudity)

Merry Christmas people.  Here is my Christmas Day.

After the presents were opened (click here to read post about my presents etc) and a couple of glasses of champagne were consumed (at that point I can honestly say that was the most amount of alcohol I have ever consumed on Christmas Day) I went online and finally the 2nd Deadpool Movie red band trailer was released on YouTube.  Definitely the best time to release it ahead of the movie debut in February 2016.  The people behind the promotion side of things are geniuses.  On the 14th of December they started a #12daysofdeadpool campaign where every day leading up to the Christmas Day trailer 2 release exclusive video clips and images were released on various websites etc.  Ryan Reynolds is a fucking legend and just proves he was born to play Deadpool.  Feel free to watch the trailer below, I know I have multiple times already.

3pm we had Christmas dinner.  Mum bless her forgot to buy carrots and broccoli but that gave me an excuse to have extra portion of turkey along after my first plate below lol.  There were Yorkshire puddings but they didn’t come until 10 minutes after that picture was taken.  Pudding we had homemade mince pies and ice cream which was boss and mum doesn’t spare on the brandy in the mince lol.

After playing a game of trivial pursuit (mum won), we watched the Doctor Who Christmas special.  Overall I liked the episode, it was better than last year’s Christmas one.  Every time I see Alex Kingston (River Song) on Doctor Who or anything else I keep thinking about the movie Croupier (1998) she stars in with Clive Owen and she gets topless in it.  Her tits were pretty decent back then.

NOW HERE IS MY PRESENT TO MY FOLLOWERS

Money? Alex Kingston nude pics? No you will just have to settle for a “BOOBS ON MY MIND PART 6 SCARLETT COLLECTION”.  Nothing but different angle shots of Scarlett and her fabulous stocking fillers.  On that note I hope you enjoy it and I wish everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Me, Jasmine & The New Star Wars Movie (SPOILERS)

(SPOILER ALERTS towards the bottom of this post, look out for SPOILER SIGN)

Before I start my post I am happy to announce that I have now reached the 50 followers milestone. I said in my To Do List post that one of my aims was to reach 100 followers by 2nd June 2016 so I am pleased I am halfway there.

Today there were 2 goals me and Jasmine had set out to do.  Rape our local afternoon all you can eat Chinese buffet and see the new Star Wars movie later on that evening.  First was the food, we both finished work earlier than morning so we both didn’t get alot of sleep when we met up later that afternoon.  We were both hungry and I was more than up for going to a Chinese buffet because it has been at least a year or so since I last went.  When we arrived we only had 1 hour before they closed to get ready for the evening opening.  One thing I don’t like about the afternoon time is although the price is cheaper there is also less options food wise, which from a financial point of view I can understand.  I made sure I filled up on as much beef in black bean sauce, egg fried rice, chips and unlimited refills at the coke machine before our hour was up.  All Jasmine kept having was pork ribs and noodles.  Below is a video of a clip from a UK show called Fresh Meat about students living in a house share.  This clip shows the male character Howard telling the female character Vod how to beat the buffet lol.  I’m sharing this because every time I want a buffet I watch this clip for comedy value and for tips (except the last tip Howard says because……..well just watch).

Five minutes before kicking out time and after we both made sure our bellies were satisfied and stuffed to maximum capacity, we exchanged Christmas presents.  I bought her a framed picture print of a map of Middle Earth from Lord of the Rings as she is a LOTR nerd.  My gift went down well with her as I knew it would and even bragged that I knew her so well etc.  Then I opened my present from her and I couldn’t believe it she bought me a Deadpool T-shirt and even more unbelievable it actually fitted me (I did have to run to the toilets really quick to change I didn’t want anyone to see me with my top off lol).  She suggested I should wear it for when the Deadpool movie comes out in February next year, my dear that is exactly what I will do.

I managed to sneak this rare heavily filtered and customised picture of her on my phone and its rare because she is smiling (only got away with it because she thought I was taking pictures of my food lol).  She has a lovely smile and it really makes her look beautiful.  I’ll be honest I was starting to fancy her again but then I remember that nothing would come of it whether she fancied me or not because she just isn’t bothered about men.  I really need to find out why, if I can it could give me a clue as to whether I should just stay friends with her or see if I should attempt to pursue her.  Anyways we left the restaurant and went to Tonio’s Italiano (same place I took Alayna to first on our first and ONLY date) because she was in the mood for cocktails and since I was still very full from the Chinese I had glass after glass of apple juice.

It was now after 5pm and we had 15 minutes to the cinema.  We arrive with about 5 minutes to spare and the line extended from inside to outside the building and around the corner from the building.  As we got closer to investigate, most of these people had prepaid tickets for Star Wars but because their prepay ticket redeem machine was broken they had to wait in line and quote their reference numbers over the main ticket counter.  Seeing as we couldn’t tell if everyone was waiting for Star Wars or not or whether they prepaid or not, we didn’t think we was going to make the showing.  We were gutted so we decided to try the only other not so good cinema, surprise surprise there wasn’t even a queue.  But only reason being because the show we arrived for already started 20 minutes ago but they still let us in because the adverts and trailers were still running.  The screen room was virtually packed with people spaced out and we were lucky to find 2 seats by the end of an aisle.  I needed the toilet a minute after we sat down, but as soon as I got up the opening classic Star Wars theme started playing.  Just 2 hours bladder you can do this lol.

(If you read beyond this point and you have not seen the new Star Wars movie, then it is your own fault as I have left plenty of warnings)

Overall I liked it.  It had more comedy moments in it than the previous episodes.  The plot was fairly simple to follow, I was surprised that they didn’t do a “previously…….” sequence at the beginning to sum up everything that has happened to this point.  It is literally a continuation from episode 6 and not a reboot attempt for the new younger audience like they did with Jurassic World.  When Kylo Ren took his helmet off I couldn’t stop looking at his ears lol.  I still don’t know why he wore a mask, apart from intimidation purposes but although Darth Vader aka Grandfather wore one and Kylo strived to be like him, Vader had no choice but to wear the helmet as part of his life support suit.  The actor who plays Kylo did a great job as a young, powerful, conflicted, irrational emo with hilarious light sabre electrical equipment smash ups lol.  THEY KILLED HAN FUCKING SOLO, HOW THE FUCK CAN THEY DO THAT?  I get why Kylo killed his Dad and now this just shows that if Han Solo can get killed off then no one is safe.  I was also annoyed by the fact you only see Luke Skywalker at the very very very end for about 20 seconds and he doesn’t even say a word.  Former stormtrooper Finn was funny, but seriously when he said “droid please” to rollie pollie droid BB8 and later the droid extended out his flame torch to indicate a thumbs up everyone in the screen room laughed.  If there was a spin off with just those 2 I would watch it.  Although story wise it makes sense there wasn’t an epic light sabre battle between Kylo Ren and now force sensitive female lead character (possible child of Luke Skywalker I bet) Rey.  But once she does some training with Luke in episode 8 I predict it will mirror episode 4 A New Hope where Kylo (Vader) strikes down his former master Luke (Obi Wan) in front of Rey (younger Luke).  NO JA JA thank the lord lol.  I know Lucas based the stormtroopers and the empire on the Nazis but that scene where all the troopers lined up in formation listening to their leader fill their heads with propaganda, all it was missing was a “heil Hitler” lol, it felt like they didn’t even try to make it their own.  It was good to see C3PO and R2D2 again, them 2 and BB8 will have some comedic scenes together in the future.  

Breaking The 4th Wall

“Breaking the 4th wall” (if for some impossible reason you have never heard of the term) is where a character in many storytelling mediums (television, movies and comics etc) talks to us the audience and is aware of their setting.  The 4th wall comes from a 3 sided theatre stage and the 4th wall acts as an invisible barrier between the actors and the audience.  It first started in the mid 19th century and sometime between then and the early 20th century the term “breaking the 4th wall” was coined.

The main reasons characters break the 4th wall are to provide a plot point that will continue in the next act which is vital to progress the story narrative, to provide extra comedic value aswell on top of already prewritten comedic dialogue in the script.  Finally characters can express their thoughts and opinions on the current situation, if anyone is thinking its like a soliloquy its not because a soliloquy is a theatrical tool only used to express internal thoughts to the audience but not ENGAGE with the audience (for example I always think that whenever I write stuff in brackets that in a sense I am writing my own internal thoughts and breaking the 4th wall………….Justin Bieber is gay……….boobies……..I’m hungry what’s left in the fridge lol).

I’m sure there are plenty of examples of breaking the 4th wall but below are a list of my favourites.

FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR

Clearly Will’s line was scripted but Carlton’s outburst running through different sets and even the audience was unscripted, just a fun way to end the episode.  May cause some argument that his outburst was technically more of a blooper but it certainly ripped apart the 4th wall.

SAVED BY THE BELL

(No word of a lie, this was the exact scene I wanted to use so thank you YouTube) This is a brilliant example of breaking the 4th wall.  Zack Morris along with his wall breaking ability can also stop time and freeze the characters around him which is handy to get out of a tight spot and to pull a prank.  He also engages with the audience his thoughts, jokes and helps move the story forward to the next act.

ED EDD N EDDY

(Yes I like cartoons so what?) Although the Eds don’t actually talk directly to the audience they are well aware they are in a cartoon shows.  I like how they refer to scripts, plots and scene transitions (end of first sequence and fade to black ahahaha lol).

DEADPOOL

It’s impossible for anyone alive to talk about breaking the 4th wall without mentioning the awesome Deadpool.  Well since the Deadpool movie isn’t out until February 2016 this is a clip of his appearance in an episode of Disney’s Ultimate Spiderman (certainly no swearing here).  Deadpool’s reason for breaking the 4th wall is because of his healing factor constantly healing his cancer ridden body and his mind being in a constant state of flux which makes him insane and also a heightened sense of reality and awareness of whatever medium he is in.  Maybe not so much for story narration but definitely for the comedy factor.

HOUSE OF CARDS

Kevin Spacey is phenomenal in this show and his southern accent just adds an extra layer of brilliance (I can’t picture him talking normally now lol).  Always breaking the 4th wall to talk about his thoughts and plans which again move along the story and always throwing in a good life analogy here and there (*knock knock).

(FYI I wanted to do one for Family Guy but couldn’t find a short clip with a breaking 4th wall moment)

Deadpool – My Favourite Anti Hero and Comic Book Character

I first heard about Deadpool a week before I saw the X-men Origins Wolverine movie in 2009 from a youtuber called  “itsjustsomerandomguy” who at the time I had followed for a year or so.  He originally spoofed apple’s “I’m a Mac & I’m a PC” ad campaign back between 2006-2009.  In 2007 when he set up his channel he replaced Mac and PC with Marvel and DC, his first video was between Spiderman and Superman action figures where in the same format as the Mac and PC advert with a repetitive piano riff playing in the background talking about their respective companies and their own movies (Spiderman 3 and Superman Returns).

He made a few more based on Spidey and Superman and then started to expand with other characters like Batman and then the X-Men, then in comes Deadpool.  Characters from Watch Men and X-Men Origins Wolverine that are most similar to each other argue about their franchises, but Deadpool takes on the majority of the Watch Men team.  Didn’t know anything about him but the video underneath this paragraph and how randomguy portrayed the character made me like him and want to find out more about him.

To sum up Deadpool.  His real name is Wade Wilson (spoof name of Slade Wilson aka DC’s Deathstroke, watch video below this paragraph to see who would win in a death battle by screwattack.com ) who was former special ops.  He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and volunteered for an experimental cure by the Canadian Weapon X programme, he was then injected with a solution derived from Wolverine’s healing factor.  The cure worked but it accelerated his cancers growth causing his skin to deform and make him go insane.  He was experimented on further with surgical procedures and felt excruciating pain but he could never die and his healing factor was faster than Wolverine’s.  He escaped the Weapon X facility and adopted the alter ego Deadpool and became a mercenary for hire.  Apart from accelerated healing factor and superb armed and unarmed combat skills he also hears voices in his head and can break the 4th wall.  The reason he is insane is because his healing factor heals him faster than the cancer can kill him and his body and mind is in a constant state of flux.

When I went to the cinema to watch origins I was excited to see it, I resisted the temptation to watch leaked copies online.  So I watched it, you see Ryan Reynolds as Wade before he changed and he nailed the humour of the Wade Wilson character perfectly and I couldn’t wait to see him as Deadpool at some point.  Then in the final act, I see Deadpool but not the Deadpool I fell in love with because of randomguy’s portrayal on his channel and the Deadpool from the comics.  It was a monstrosity.  Their Deadpool aka “Weapon 11” has his mouth sewn shut, no charisma and didn’t even have his trademark costume.  I felt abit disappointed. 

Sometime after that Ryan Reynolds had stated he wasn’t happy with the studio’s decision on Deadpool’s portrayal and then rumours floated of a Deadpool movie started floating around with Ryan being attached to the project.  Years went by until earlier this year the script, cast and release date was all confirmed.  Fox really had fun with the online promotions and numerous on set pictures before their first trailer debuted at comic con 2015 earlier in July which created a massive buzz with leaked copies floating around online up until earlier this morning when the updated red band trailer was released on YouTube.  This version slightly differs from the Comic con version with the clip between Deadpool and Negasonic Teenage Warhead being cut out.  But still overall it was fantastic and I can’t wait for February 12th 2016.