Casino Stories PART 1

I have lots of stories and observations about the casino life since I started dealing on the tables.  The problem is there are too many and I rarely seem to get the chance to sit down and write posts on my blog these days though I am working on it.  I know I have enough material to write a few of these stories down so there will be more to come.

The Tightest Man on Earth

There is this one man (Mr Tight Arse) who really is cheap.  The kind who will buy in for Β£5 on a roulette table, play a 50 pence chip every 20 minutes for like 10 hours during that time ordering multiple free cups of tea and neither tipping the valets serving him or the dealers if he wins anything decent.  Most customers don’t tip anyways when they make a decent profit but this guy just gripes me and don’t get me started when it’s just him on my roulette table on my own πŸ™„.  Well a week before Christmas, I was on a “no game” blackjack table and in my line of sight was Mr Tight Arse on a roulette table.  For someone with his betting style he was on a roll, betting more chips than usual and at one point had Β£100+ of chips in front of him.  He eventually took the chips and cashed them out leaving a 50p chip behind, I had noticed but the Dealer at the roulette did not due to him dealing to other customers.  After Mr Tight Arse cashed out his chips he left the casino.  The Dealer from the first table spotted the chip and told his Inspector that it belonged to Mr Tight Arse but because he had already left the Inspector told him to keep it as a tip.  I have always been told only keep tips if a customer directly gives it to you, otherwise just leave the chip on the table or if instructed by a higher ranking member of staff to keep it.  About 3 hours later I have just returned to the gaming floor when I see Mr Tight Arse arguing with the manager about why we stole his 50p whilst the manager was reviewing camera footage of the table.  Jesus Christ, the man wins a few quid, leaves and then comes back knowing full well he left 50p behind.  He’s either a tight fisted moron or a pathetic shit stirrer.  Sadly the Dealer and Inspector in question got a bollocking off the manager.

Mr “Never Busts”

So the past 2 occasions I have dealt to this guy on blackjack.  He doesn’t win very much or anything at all, but he never loses either.  He’s a pleasant enough customer, he will buy in for Β£40 or so on a Β£3 min blackjack table and he will go up and down holding no more than Β£70 (Β£30 profit).  But whenever he is down to his last few pounds, he will always win that hand.  He pulls 21 and I only got 20, he somehow pulls a 7 card totaling 19 against my Ace and I pull an anti climactic 6 totalling 17.  Now what makes this worse is that on the second occasion last week he was the only customer playing on my table.  Nothing is worse than dealing a game to a single player where they only play the table minimum every hand, especially when you are doing a long stint (in this case 1 hour 40 minutes) on the table at 3am and you’re tired as hell wishing this guy would leave the table (regardless winning or losing) so you can chill out on a “no game” table.

My “Polish Elsa”

(Let’s call her) Elsa who works at the casino is absolutely one of the most beautiful women I have ever met.  She’s kind, funny, affectionate (one of my favourite people to hug she’s so delicate and smells ever so lovely) and gives as good as she gets lol.  It’s a shame she is married and has children 😞.  If I ever had a woman like Elsa in my life I would consider myself a very lucky man.  I’ll make that my 2019 resolution lol.


“Happy” New Year

So I’m at work on New Years Eve, all gaming activity is suspended from 11:40pm till 00:20am so the staff and customers can have a glass of champagne (aka Prosecco lol) to toast the New Year.  After that I’m told by one of my managers to open up another blackjack table and get the table float (metal box full of cash chips of denominations from 50p to Β£100) from underneath the table’s base.  I bend over to unlock the base door and my trousers split right down the middle.  What made it more embarrassing was I was wearing the odd bright navy pair of boxers I own compared to the dozens of black ones I own and bright navy stands out when you’re wearing black trousers with a big ass hole.  And to make it even more embarrassing my uniform was specially ordered because of my size so there was no spare trousers I could change into during the shift and they refused to let me wear my jeans because the pockets aren’t stitched and that it would be a security issue should I decide to smuggle some chips home.  Finally to top off the embarrassment scale I had to improvise and had 2 safety pins placed to try and cover the hole, not to mention customers and staff taking the piss out of me for the rest of my shift.  Safe to say that was the worst New Years I have ever had.

On New Years Day I hop on my scales for the first time in months and I was shocked when it said 452lbs.  That is the heaviest I have ever weighed in my entire life, above is a chart of the various weights I have recorded of myself since I first started my blog back in 2015.  The main spike was when I started work at the prison and then now at the casino.  I knew I was putting weight on, I could feel the pounds being put on but I certainly didn’t think I had gained this much…….this fast.  Now I feel more depressed than ever.  Work said they would reimburse me for new trousers and shirts and now I have gone up from 48″ to 54″ trousers and my shirts have gone from 20″ to 22″ collar.  Don’t get me wrong they feel more comfortable but I have completely gone back in reverse and feel worse than I did back in 2015, I mean compared to then at least I weighed abit less and I was on abit more money.  I keep reflecting on the past and wanting to go back to the past but it’s all about the future and it’s obvious to have the future you want you gotta put the hard work in the present.  I know I can lose weight, the graph proves I can.

Lenka (updated 28/10/17)

This is Lenka, she’s 28 and from Slovakia.  She works as a waitress at the casino and whenever I see her walking around the casino floor doing her job or even just standing around waiting for something to do or chatting to the other waitresses, looking beautiful as she does so just always brings a smile to my face.  She’s always smiling alot but I like to think it’s just for me 😁. 

It’s hard to strike up a conversation because we are either busy with customers or have breaks at different times.  I think the longest I have actually spoken to her is 5 minutes whilst on the floor when I had a no game on Roulette and she wasn’t serving anyone, but it got cut short when one of my managers came over to break it up as really we aren’t suppose to converse when we are suppose to be working even when there is no work to be done lol.  But when I do find those moments where I can actually talk to her I try to find out as much as I can about her.  Not saying I know everything about her but according to the “attractions post” I feel romantic, sensual and aesthetic attractions towards her.  So that’s more than enough to convince me to ask her out on a date.

So that’s what I did yesterday night, I caught her on her own in the staffroom and figuring this was the best window of opportunity I plucked up the courage and said “Can I take you out some time”? “.  Holy shit she says yes.  Oh my God she says yes.  A girl says yes to me who I have met in person and more amazingly at work, no speed dating or online dating involved either.  In that moment I felt happy and nervous at the same time.  Lenka then said when she knows her work rota we will both find a day off and go out then.  First thing I must do is not pressure her or bug her about her rota, she knows my rota because gaming staff rotas are located in the staffroom where as the waitresses in hospitality have theirs in the hospitality office which I don’t have access to.   So the play is to wait until she brings it up with me playing it cool and hopefully doesn’t change her mind in the mean time. 

I have had some reflection on this now and of cause I am over thinking things again.  Apart from her changing her mind if we have to wait ages for a day off together, I’m worried about the language barrier and any miscommunication about my intentions towards her.  I read a few articles online about asking women out in person on a date and it is best to not use the word “date” but at the same time don’t say things like “hang out” or “chill out”.  I did kind of wish I had used the word date but I’m thinking what I said word for word “can I take you out sometime” should imply that I am asking her out on her own with no other people as a group activity.  If English was her first language I’m sure she would of got the gist of my intentions there and then but because it isn’t I’m worried that she thought I just asked her out as a friend.  I wish I could of made a suggestion of dinner when I asked her out, I felt like my approach was abit too vague for my liking.

All I can do now is play the waiting game and either wait for her to change her mind or her actually getting back to me about her days off on her rota.  But if she does say yes and it does go ahead where the fuck do I take her? πŸ˜‚

She’s leaving the UK next week to fly back to Slovakia and to start a new job in Greece.  The end.  Fucking lying cunt (pardon my language).  Too fucking good to be true. 

Trainee Casino Dealer (First Month On The Job)

It has been a month now since I got my PFL and completed my training school so now it’s time to go on the tables.  How would I describe being a Dealer in a casino? Exciting, boring, hilarious and stressful all at the same time.  I have never had a job like this that has all 4 descriptors.  Being back on night shift patterns I thought wouldn’t be a problem as in my old job of 10 years all I did was night shifts but I have been finding myself sleeping in late on my days off and yawning halfway through actual shifts and wanting to take pro plus pills lol.  Also sorry it has taken me this long to write a post but there has been alot of stories and incidents worthy of being noted down, so I’ll just write a few down.

The first time I was put on a blackjack game I was dealing to this irritable middle aged man who complained about me after 2 hands not because he lost them but because I was too slow. Sorry dickhead how am I supposed to get experience if I don’t deal? Anyways my hands were shaky and I was struggling to add 3+ cards together to get each open box totals correctly.  I paid out blackjack even money when they should be paid out 3:2 odds (Β£5 winning blackjack bet pays out Β£7.50).  Since my first time I have slowly been improving.

The first time I was told by my Pit Boss (in charge of the Gaming floor) to go on a “no game” roulette table, I stood there for 5 minutes spinning the ball with no action happening.  I spin the ball again and then out of nowhere an Asian man with a thick accent comes over to me and throws me a bunch of cash notes shouting multiple call bets at me which I should count and place into chips on the layout accordingly.  Nerves got the better of me and I froze and I still didn’t understand what the bet was.  My Inspector (supervises gaming tables and Dealers) just told me to push the cash back and the ball dropped, the guy walked off but I couldn’t tell if he would of won the bet or not if I had placed it in time.  The Pit Boss came over and got another Dealer to take me off and he then put me on Β£3 blackjack table and reassured me that he knew I was a Trainee and that I’m not competent enough at this moment in time to handle bets like that from customers like him.  He told me give it 3-6 months and you will be accepting and placing bets like that without difficulty.  Since my first time I have again been slowly improving.

There are alot of stories that I have missed and I’m sure plenty more to come as long as I’m sticking this job out 

Chivalry and Compromising Ain’t That Hard

This post isn’t about me because I actually believe in both ideals when in reason.  This is about my best friend Gemma and the guy (Damon) she matched up with at last week’s speed dating event and how they didn’t end up going for drinks in the end because he refused to be chivalrous and she refused to compromise.

So after they message each other on the speed dating website and swap phone numbers, Damon texts Gemma asking her what nights she will be available that week and where she lives.  Gemma lives about 10 miles away from where he lives (he lives closer to me infact) and says she’s free Wednesday & Thursday night.  Now Damon then tells her the distance is too far for him to travel on a work night and asks if there’s any chance she could come to him.  She tells me this and despite me offering her to stay at my place for the night so she wouldn’t be relying on taxis to get back to her place she said no because she believes that the man should travel to meet the woman on a first date.  Now I kept telling her based on the information at hand that how about you compromise this time (only because she really did like him) and then if things go well the next time they meet up it’s on her terms.  She didn’t listen and then messaged back suggesting some time on the weekend instead.  Damon then goes quiet on her for a couple of days and messages her back asking if she is free on Monday (18/09/17).  Again she replies telling him if he could meet her by where she lives and if it’s too far for him then they don’t have to meet up and wished him a good night.  He hasn’t replied since.

I’m annoyed at her for not compromising about the meeting place despite me offering her somewhere to stay the night in order to help her out.  I’m annoyed at him for not being enough of a gentleman to make the effort either travelling the distance to see her on a work night or at least giving an explanation why he wouldn’t be available on the weekend.  I read a blog recently about a woman’s dating life in London and to paraphrase she basically says that if a man is willing to see you on the weekend than he is willing to give up his free time to see you; therefore showing that you are somewhat special in a way to him.  

But on a personal level I’m annoyed they didn’t go on this date and things wouldn’t progress further because since me and her broke I have never met any of the guys she has dated.  Damon is someone who I’ve actually met and he did seem like a good natured down to earth funny sort of guy.

Speed Dating (Part 2) (revised 19/09/17)

click to read part 1

The other day me and Gemma went speed dating for a second time.  Overall I did enjoy the last time and now that me and Gemma know what to expect this time around we were both alot less nervous.  At the end of the day best case scenario I will meet someone I want to date and vice versa, worst case scenario it is a night out with my best friend. The event was in the same hotel function room at the same time as last time.  This time around things were different.  More people turned up, in the end it was 15 men and 15 women which evened out nicely.  There was actual mingling before the event started so it wasn’t just me and Gemma in a corner chatting on our own before it started.  Finally some of the ladies were drinking alot (let’s say during the evening I saw more than a few wine bottles about lol).  So same rules, 5 minutes per date and then you put them down as YES βœ” , NO βœ– or FRIEND ❓. (because there are more girls than last time I may not have alot of notes to provide and trying my best to remember)

Girl #1 ❓

Tall blonde Lithuanian girl, very drunk lol.  Very friendly.  We didn’t get to ask each other that many questions but she seemed like a fun girl.

Girl #2 ❓

Tall brunette Lithuanian girl, friends with girl #1 but not as drunk.  She works in a chemist shop.

Girl #3 βœ”

Short cute redhead.  Wore a nice outfit showing off some nice cleavage.  She’s a psychologist.  We have mutual interests in comic book movies and specifically Deadpool.  Hence the tick .  Gemma actually struck up a conversation with her during the break and they are now friends on Facebook.  Good old Gemma always good for some inside information lol.

Girl #4 βœ– (AKA Gemma)

Girl #5 βœ– 

She’s a solicitor and in her spare time likes to go horse riding.  Seemed nice but didn’t quite float my boat.

Girl #6 βœ”

She caught my eye before the event started.  Tall beautiful Chinese girl and very bubbly (maybe the wine helped her with that).  She liked the fact I was taller than her alot and we just mainly laughed rather than asking each other questions about each other.

Girl #7 βœ–

She was drunk but only to calm her nerves as it was her first time speed dating.  I just reassured her shes doing fine and just enjoy herself.  She says she does boxing in her spare time and for the life of me I can’t even remember if we even asked each other what we did for jobs.

Girl #8 ❓

She seemed like a lovely girl and she was someone a few of the guys talked about during the break.  She seemed down to earth and looked cute.  Again I feel bad because I can barely remember what we talked about.

Girl #9 ❓

She’s a nurse and I have huge respect for nurses.  I can’t remember what she looked like lol.

Girl #10 βœ–

You know those hot girls who deep down are either crazy or have issues? Yes she was one of them.

Girl #11 βœ”

Beautiful looking brunette with a pretty smile.  I felt very comfortable talking to her and one of the few ladies not drinking alcohol.  She’s a dietician so I joked that maybe she could give me her number if she wants a new client lol.

Girl #12 ❓

Slim with curly blonde hair.  Again I can’t remember what we talked about other than her living 20 miles away.

Girl #13 ❓

Asian, very friendly.  I can’t remember what we talked about and I didn’t actually write down any notes for her.

Girl #14 βœ”βœ”

Asian and friends with girl #13.  She’s very short and cute and works in an office.  We had a flowing conversation and somehow she dropped a Rocky reference.  I like the Rocky movies and so I asked her which one was her favourite and she said Rocky IV (hence the tick).  I was happy because that’s my favourite one too.  Then I asked her what her least favourite one was and she said Rocky V, again this time I was ecstatic (hence the second tick).

Girl #15 ❓

This girl has an appetite after my own heart, we spent the whole 5 minutes talking about food.  She would be an expensive date that’s for sure but at least I wouldn’t have to worry about being greedy in front of her lol.
Well currently as of today (14/09/2017) Gemma has told me that 12/15 men have submitted their results in, she got more matches than she did last time and even a YES/YES with a guy she liked the most and are on the verge of going out for drinks within the next week.  I’m pleased for her and she feels excited.

As for me…….

  1. I’m pissed because only 3/15 women have bothered to submit their results, proving once again that men take the speed dating process more seriously.
  2. I got 2 matches with girl #14 and with girl #3 (Gemma’s new friend) but typical where I put YES they both put FRIEND.  I don’t want a repeat of what happened with that girl in the part one post and since Gemma and her are now friends I’ll just wait to see if she has asked after me.

This time around I enjoyed the experience alot more, more girls and more booze must make things better right lol.  I’d certainly go a 3rd time but as usual I’ll keep you guys posted.

REVISED 19/09/17

OK it’s been a week now and 13/15 girls in total have put in their results, I would like to apologise for what I said about women not taking the speed dating process seriously.  I have now matched with 5 girls total, they all wanted to be FRIEND with me and I chose DATE for 2 and FRIEND for 3.  I have messaged all of them asking them each how they were and did they enjoy the event?  Not a single reply.

“Attraction Types” RevelationΒ 

When I say revelation I don’t mean I have discovered groundbreaking information that will change the dating game forever, I mean I found information online about different types of attraction and it has had a profound influence on how I now and will view women and dating in the future.  I used to think attraction came down to either their physical appearance or their personality.  But there’s more to it.

With this information I have been able to work out what it is I feel whenever I look at women that catch my eye.  So now I know if I see an attractive woman it’s aesthetic attraction, if she has nice boobs as well and I have thoughts of touching them etc it’s borderline sensual/sexual attraction (cause it would technically count as sexual contact).  

Now I’m going to use Jasmine (who turned me down recently) as an example.  Based on the information it shows that I have an alterous attraction towards her.  That is because we were friends first before I started having some feelings for her and the need to wanting to date her because we have built up a friendship first and that has never happened with any other girl I have shown an interest in before.  Now although I do feel a sensual attraction towards her I don’t feel a sexual or to be honest an aesthetic attraction either, not saying she’s ugly or sexually unappealing but those aren’t my main motivations for wanting to date her.  I can now say to myself that I’m glad she turned me down and I feel better about it now knowing why it is I was into her originally in the first place.  Plus I like our friendship and trying out new restaurants etc. 

But the main question that all of this raises for me is..




This is me chatting shit and I’m just throwing my opinions about.  But if we split the different attractions into either PHYSICAL or EMOTIONAL categories (excluding PLATONIC because if all you desire is to be friends with that person then it really shouldn’t count), I’m thinking you got to have at least one strong feeling of attraction from each category.  Now for future reference if a pretty girl I find aesthetically attractive is nice to me, we chat and make each other laugh then it doesn’t mean she’s into me and it doesn’t mean I should take the plunge and ask her out.  Now I will take the time to reflect on what it is that attracts me to this woman, are any of the attraction types strong and does it tick both categories?

I’m Done With POF

Really I mean it this time.

Short conversation, I make an effort to try and be funny as well as referencing something from her profile to show I have read it.  Amazingly she replies, but typical she’s not asking me any questions about myself so I’m thinking she’s just replying back and I’ll be waiting for the eventual “sorry but I’m not interested” message that would have me going “what’s the fucking point in replying at all then if you’re not interested?”

So when she says she just came back on today the first thought in my mind was that she must of broken things of with an ex or something and in hindsight I could of phrased it better instead of putting “on the rebound” (hands up to that), but I always want to show I’m more of a perceptive guy when having a conversation with people by guessing what they are about to say rather than asking open questions all the time.  How the hell was I suppose to guess that she hid her account for whatever amount of time she was away from the site?  The fool comment was abit over the top and after I spent about 5 minutes writing a reply to explain myself, apologise for any annoyance I caused and to move the conversation forward she had already blocked me.  

So lessons learnt 

  • Always ask open questions.
  • Be dumb.
  • Don’t be 100% honest 
  • If they don’t ask you any questions about yourself in return don’t bother continuing the conversation.

Fuck POF and fuck online dating altogether.

Trainee Casino Dealer (Croupier)

I have a new job as a Trainee Dealer at the same casino I used to visit during my gambling days a few years ago.  This week marks the 2nd week of their 6 week training school which I am on with another 9 trainees.  During the 6 weeks we will be learning how to handle chips & cards as well as learning how to deal roulette, blackjack and 3 card poker.  I came across this job on the same job site app where I came across the Prison Officer job.  Although the salary is minimum wage, they promise it would go up with experience and that if you didn’t get a pay rise in the first year then you’re clearly not a good enough Dealer lol.  I did the math and I can live on Β£7.50 an hour just about and keep the flat although I have been contemplating giving it up and going back to living in a houseshare.

I had the interview with one of the manager’s 1 week after I applied online, it was weird waiting in the Reception area not being there as a customer.  The shift manager came out, he was called Leon instantly recognised me and asked how I was and how come I stopped visiting.  I simply said that I was just sick of losing.  We went through the main gaming floor and into a private room that had a roulette and blackjack table which I presumed was reserved for private games for high rollers.  He asked me standard general competency questions and the year I have had so far with interviews I was just repeating myself.  Afterwards he gave me a sheet of paper with 20 multiplication math questions to answer while he popped out for a few minutes.  The first 15 were easy enough like what was “11 x 35” & “34 x 8” but while I was tempted to get my phone out to calculate the last few it occurred to me that cameras are everywhere in casinos and maybe I was being tested right there and then to test my honesty.  He came back in and after I finished the final questions, he marked them and I got 19/20 right.  Leon then explained what the job was all about, what kind of hours I would be working (mostly nights and weekends but I am no stranger to that), promotion prospects that may come along with experience within the job itself.  I did my own research online and they say if you learn to deal at a reasonable level then you can go to virtually any casino domestic, abroad or even on the cruise ships and the idea of travelling the world and getting paid while you’re doing it really appealed to me.

Two days later I get a call back from the casino admin office telling me I was successful.  On our induction day our group spent about 4 hours filling in paperwork for our company files and for our Personal Functional Licence (PFL) which you would need in order to deal in UK casinos, if we didn’t have it or they rejected my application for some reason then I would be out of another job and I really can’t afford that at the moment (well a couple of months anyways until my savings run out).  For the licence paperwork they virtually required all the stuff I had already provided for the Prison Officer job so there was no rush or panic to source any last minute documentation.  They say the paperwork would take 4-6 weeks to be processed assuming no details are missing or omitted and you will have your licence which will last for 5 years before renewal.

Roulette is the main game of UK casinos according to our training officer Dave who works as an Inspector (an Inspector watches up to 4 tables at the same time making sure the Dealers are doing their jobs properly), which we will be spending up to 4 weeks of training on.  We are using the same private room for the training where I had my interview  I thought playing the game was mad but dealing it is on another level lol.  We use the European layout with the single zero, Dave says the Americans are greedy and added an extra double zero to increase the game’s house edge which is why it’s not as popular over there as it is over here.  The first week we got down to the basics of chip work where chips are in stacks of 20 we learned to cut them into 5s and 4s in one hand as well as being able to feel for 20 in our palms as we picked them up.  Then we alternate as they expect us to be just as strong with both hands.  It felt weird and I actually thought of quitting because at one point I just kept messing up but I persevered and just about now getting the hang of it.  We learnt how to spread cards for when we come to learn blackjack after the roulette training.  That was easier for me than the chip work.  In our own time Dave encouraged us to buy a cheap poker game set that comes with chips and a crappy felt to practice our chip work and to learn our “5,8,11,17 & 35” multiplication tables which will come in handy for roulette.

Overall so far I am enjoying it and I am in the same situation where I am in yet another training school.  Dave is helpful, laid back but stern when the occasion calls for it without acting like an arsehole.  The other trainees seem to be cool as well, a couple of hot girls aswell but I’m determined to purely focus on the job at hand and not make some kind of move on them (like I haven’t said that before in my past posts lol).

Struck Out With Jasmine…Again

The last few times I have been hanging out with Jasmine (aka restaurant buddy), I have started to fancy her again.  Feelings towards her have gone up and down in the time I have known her but this time they were at an all time high.  Every time we have been to the cinema 🎦 I have just wanted to hold her hand and look in her eyes and tell her I like her and how much I want us to date.  We was out 2 weeks ago at a restaurant we wanted to try out for ages and by chance we bumped into a couple who we used to work with in our old jobs before we were all made redundant last December, so we got a table for 4.  While we were eating and having a good catch up in my mind it felt almost like a double date.  After we ate, the four of us decided to hang out afterwards and went for bubble teas (very delicious btw) and to see Spiderman Homecoming (best spiderman film to date).  

On our way home after we parted ways with our couple friends I finally plucked up the courage to ask Jasmine to reconsider the idea of us dating to see if there could be anything more between us than friendship.  Going into this I was 98% certain she would say no, she friendzoned me last year for no reason when she was talking about her feelings about another guy she had a thing for but didn’t work out.  Surprise surprise she said no, she doesn’t see me as a dating option and once again doesn’t offer a specific reason why.  Later that night I sent her a text saying I just want you to think about the idea of us dating and for us to be on the same page, that was 2 weeks ago and I haven’t heard a word from her.  I would of figured she deliberately wait a few days to pretend to think things over and then rehearse or have written down something she had prepared earlier but clearly that’s not the case either.  If I have truly made things awkward between us because of what I have said surely this isn’t a mature way to deal with it on her part right?