We normally have our staff Christmas party earlier in December so having it on Sunday 20th was cutting it short towards Christmas week, glad I got my Christmas shopping done and presents all wrapped and delivered etc. Also who has a party on a Sunday night when people have work the next day, won’t be so bad for the night staff because it gives them the next day to cure their hangovers but I will feel sorry for the admin staff (ie Scarlett lol) who only do 9-5 day time hours lol. It’s the same pub function room hire as it was last year but this year I am not going, just gonna stay in, catch up on my favourite shows and order in an Indian takeaway. I just don’t see the fucking point in going this year. It comes down to two main reasons.
First reason is it’s because of the redundancies earlier this year. First point is that most of those people were real characters who made our parties fun, and the atmosphere will be different without them. The second point is usually our past Christmas parties there has always been an open bar (within reason) but this year as I am sitting on my sofa watching TV and surfing the web I get a text from The Legend. He basically asks me where I am and if tells me that if I am running late bring more cash with me because there is no open bar and most of the staff who turned up are pissed off lol. Well if I wasn’t gonna go before I certainly wasn’t gonna go now am I? With these budget cuts I wouldn’t be surprised if there wouldn’t be a party next year. Still got a job though, that’s what I keep telling myself. But it’s a piss take for the company not to inform the staff about there being no free bar this year. Least I’m saving a bit of money this year and on that note I can assure you money has nothing to do with me staying in.
Second reason is because I realise I honestly don’t enjoy myself going out to clubs and sometimes even pubs. Due to the job I’m not considered a pub or club going regular anywhere in my town. Most of the time on my days off I’m just lounging around in my flat being bored, catching up on sleep or surfing the web. Only times I enjoy going out is with either Gemma or Jasmine and not just because there is food involved, but because I feel comfortable around them and I don’t feel the need to drink booze to liven myself up to be entertaining for them, where as Jasmine on the other hand depending if there are any good cocktail offers on lol.
I honestly just don’t see the point in it. Only reasons I can see people go out to parties or clubbing is to get drunk and hook up (even if they are with someone). It baffles me when I watch Jeremy Kyle (if it happens to be on………. Don’t judge) and I see some butt ugly moron having paternity tests with two equally ugly moronic women to see if he is the father to both their babies, and I’m thinking there had to be some mind altering substances involved lol. I don’t ask or expect in those situations, I’ll settle for anything from a drunken snog up to a blowjob (full sex I would happily take a girl I like on a few dates first and see if we have chemistry first).
Looking back on the previous Christmas parties I had been to, I had only ever had one drunken snog with a girl who actually thinking about it was actually one of the people made redundant earlier this year. This was our 2009 Christmas party, she wasn’t sexy but she wasn’t unattractive either; she pulled me in for a snog which lasted about 6 seconds. I had a few pints in me and I was wasn’t complaining. Now I hadn’t noticed her snogging anyone else so I thought maybe my luck was in and I wanted to see if it could turn into something more than a snog. I got her on her own and tried getting close to her to see if she would take the hint, she asks me to buy her a double jack and coke (the free bar has finished by then). I buy her the drink and when I eventually find her she is being given the same drink by another guy and starts getting drunk fueled intimate with him. What a fucking bitch and I had a feeling we weren’t the only 2 guys she asked, and I still keep thinking to myself what would of happened if I had found her first and gave her the drink. I don’t think she did on purpose, it just proves hooking up with someone drunk doesn’t mean anything and a drunken snog doesn’t guarantee you a promise.
So from then on until the 2014 Christmas party (the other ones I was involved with Gemma) I never tried it on with anyone whilst drunk. For those who haven’t read my post about my friend The Legend, I wrote about how at last year’s party he got drunk and tried it on with Red Linda on the dancefloor stripping down to his underwear lol. Well although the post was about him, in terms of Red Linda (I mentioned her before as one of the people who also got made redundant earlier this year) there is something else I should add on to. After the party a bunch of staggered across town to a club, now again with my beer goggles on at the time I had noticed Red Linda was looking pretty good and I even tried having a couple of slow dances with her which she didn’t seem to mind. Now I said to myself in my mind all I wanted was a snog, nothing else because I hadn’t kissed a woman since before me and Gemma broke up for the final time. I certainly didn’t want to push my luck for a cheeky blowjob and she isn’t exactly blessed in the chest department so I had little desire to grope her tits. I tried on and off for about half an hour and she kept kindly bless her that she doesn’t kiss friends like that. I gave up, said my goodbyes to people, got a taxi and fucked off home. Get this a couple of days later, one of my workmates Kev (aka one of the guys who got recently promoted to Operative Supervisor) was having a chat with me and he told me after I left Red Linda was all over him, she snogged his brains off and they ended up in one of the toilet cubicles where she got her tits out while they gave each other simultaneous “hand relief”. Fucking bitch. What she should of said to me in the club was “I don’t kiss ugly friends like that, but will give a slippery handjob for the hot ones”.
Now back to the present. Fuck it I don’t want to go through drunken foolery rejection again. Also whether or not I wanted to get some, I ran through the list of women at our workplace in my mind and I had realised the majority of the ones I wouldn’t mind trying it on with were made redundant. Which leaves the current ladies who still work with us. Basically it comes down to the fact that they are either married, in relationships, too old and the ones that just don’t turn me on no matter how alcohol is in my system. Also the only one of them who would of turned up in a sexy dress would of been Scarlett and because her dresses are normally quite revealing up top I could just wait for her to upload them online the next day, I don’t really need to be there to ogle her in person. I don’t need to be around workmates and have a laugh with them when there’s booze involved because we generally have a good laugh and banter at work sometimes when it’s not so busy.
It is now Monday 21st December and I prolonged publishing this post till today to see if there was any decent gossip worth sharing. Turns out that because there was no free bar no one ended up really pissed. No drunken snogs or any regrettable hook ups between people. The Legend kept hitting the dance floor but thankfully kept his clothes on this year lol. Scarlett didn’t come wearing a sexy dress this year but did where a revealing black top which is her new profile picture on Facebook. From what I have heard so far the night seemed quite uneventful so I didn’t really miss anything much. Oh well maybe I’ll change my mind next year, maybe I might get some action without needing to be drunk.
Crispywalker 